5 Steps to Start You on the Path from Good to Great in Your Relationship
Go for a great life!
1) Know that you deserve a great relationship and a great life. You deserve more intimacy and to keep romance alive in your life. Don’t settle for good. That’s the normal thing to do, but greatness is who you are naturally. Marianne Williamson has written,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
-Excerpt from “A Return to Love”
Feel the fear and pursue the life you want anyway.
2) Knowing you deserve a great relationship is the first step. Doing something about it comes next. Do whatever you need to do to get the great relationship you want. Go on a romantic cruise. Institute a weekly date night. Take a workshop. Surprise her with secret notes and gifts. Thank him everyday for all he does for you and your family.
3) Start pursuing “great” when things between you are still good. Don’t wait until things are “bad enough” to justify taking action. All the justification you need is that your life, and that of your partner, are too precious to waste. Get to great, and the faster the better!
4) If you feel you have to judge your partner or make them wrong, keep it to yourself. When women are judged they start to withhold themselves and shutdown. They start to question their desires, yet this is what they should be encouraged to embrace beyond all else. When men are made wrong or doubted, they produce less willingly because they start to expect the loss. No man will voluntarily move toward a loss.
5) Know, and respect, that you and your partner are different in every way - in how you think, in how you handle fear and uncertainty, in how you produce, in what makes you happy, in what you want, in what motivates you and in what shuts you down. Those differences are real. We say we know men and women are different, but we don’t know how to operate those differences. As a result, we end up insisting that our partners behave or respond how we expect them to. And often how we expect them to respond is based on how we would respond ourselves. When they don’t behave as we want them to we get upset. That’s kind of like not eating oranges because you think they should have the qualities of an apple even though that was never possible to begin with.
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