Relationship Success Series: Introduction – Success is a Habit
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“Success is what happens when you do what works over and over and over again.”
Becoming successful can seem boring. It’s a very mechanical process. One expert in success principles explains it like this. He said success is achieved by:
- Taking an action
- Assessing the outcome
- Adjusting the action
- Taking new action
- Never stop doing steps 1-4
In other words, becoming successful is about finding what works and doing it again and again and again and again and again.
If you distill this process to one basic truth, it is this:
Success is a habit.
It’s not magic. It’s not the realm of the “lucky” few. Success is available for everyone. This is as true for relationships as it for life, business, finances and anything else you want to accomplish.
Sounds pretty easy doesn’t it? Awesome, let’s all go out and become wildly successful. In fact let’s schedule it. Let’s meet at 4pm for a coffee, we’ll change our habits of relating, create an insanely successful partnership, and then while we’re having such a great day, let’s solve world hunger over dinner and drinks. That would be a full but rewarding day.
The reality is that success in any area of life is simple, but it’s not easy. We all get that we could have the empowering and satisfying relationships we want if we would just do what works over and over and over again. So why don’t we do it? What’s getting in the way? You are. I am. Our willingness. Our fears.
The Path to Success is Like a 3-Legged Race
You see, we keep getting in our own way. We see the goal, whatever that is for you, and we keep tripping ourselves up. We stumble-bumble along, hoping against desperation that we’ll get it “right” this time.
It’s like being in a three-legged race in which you are your own partner. Your Human self…child-like in its anticipation, expectancy, awestruck wonder, impatience, fear and laziness…trips up your Divine self, sending you both tumbling on the warm grass, coming to rest laughing and looking up at the white puffy clouds. Once you’ve caught your breath, your Divine self turns to look at you, smiles and says, “Okay, let’s get up and try again. Trust me.” It’s the perfect dance.
It’s getting up and trying again that has a habit become ingrained. In your relationship, you have the results you have – be they good, bad, ugly or great – because of what you have been doing repeatedly day after day, year after year, relationship after relationship. Whether or not you move from bad to good or from good to great in your partnership depends on:
- your awareness of your habits;
- your willingness to change or tweak your habits. This will require you to face your fears, frustrations and complacency as well as to challenge yourself to not be satisfied with “good enough”;
- your commitment to turning those new habits into a lifestyle in order to achieve a healthy, vital partnership;
- your openness to new ways of relating and to fresh ideas about who you are, who your partner is and what is possible between you.
Relationship Success Blog Series
Being aware of your habits of relating is the first step. In our experience there are critical habits that can make or break your relationship. In our “Between Men and Women” Couples Wellness Weekends and Retreats we see the impact of these habits on peoples’ lives all the time. Our goal is to have our participants become aware of these habits and to provide them with the inside track on who men and women are naturally so they will be shifted towards habits that move them closer to where they want to go.
In the Relationship Success Blog Series each habit will be the subject of a separate post to be released over the next several weeks.
Now, one last thing…we need your help.
This blog is for you. We want to stay relevant and useful to your life. Future blog posts are largely based on the questions and comments we get from you.
Below this post we want you to leave a comment and tell us what you think the most powerful part of the article was. What did you learn, and what concept or idea that we’ve shared is going to have a huge impact, and why?
Please post a comment below because we read them all personally, and we love seeing that you are enjoying our training, and that you’re getting good value.
For the complete blueprint for what makes your partner tick attend an upcoming “Between Men and Women” Couples Wellness Weekend. For details click here:
As always, come back and let us know about your comments on this post. Take care.