Why Looking Into a Woman’s Eyes is Critical
I remember just like yesterday the doctor slipping my baby girl into the cradle of my arm after she was born. Right from the beginning we spent most of our time together looking at each other’s faces – gazing into one another’s eyes.
It was a different story when my son was born. The difference I noticed between my children had me secretly harbor thoughts that the relationship between my son and I was fundamentally flawed. Compared to her, he looked at my eyes much less and was forever scanning the room, seemingly to put his attention beyond.
For many years I thought that maybe my son just didn’t like me. Unfortunately, this was long before I learned this type of difference in behavior is gender based.
One of the significant ways women/girls bond and build trust is by eye contact. It’s been said that eye contact stimulates a woman to release the “cuddle chemical”, called oxytocin, a hormone thought to be involved in the formation of trust. In women, it’s release in large amounts during labor and nursing facilitates bonding between mother and child.
Here is a little experiment for you men and women in relationship: If you’re a man reading this, know that your woman can develop a sort of low-grade anxiety caused by lack of eye contact. This may look like a quiet desperation to get your attention when engaged in conversation with you.
Try this for the next week. Every time she speaks to you make an effort to stop what you’re doing and make solid eye contact with her. Don’t take your eyes off hers until she is finished talking. Guaranteed you’ll notice something cool over there with her. She’ll likely be more relaxed and feel more connected to you – always a good thing.
If you’re a woman reading this ask your guy to read it too, and encourage him to try the experiment. You’ll both see the amazing difference this simple practice makes.
Share your comments and let us know your results.